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BIG thanks to Mal Motors for fixing my car on the weekend- Awesome job and awesome price. Also thanks for the loan car, that was muchly appreciated:)
It drives so nicely now- its like a dream.
And BIG thanks to the lovely Sharna and Rach for helping me paint my unit. I looks really good now:)
On Friday I scrapped the paint off my ceiling and then sanded it there was paint flakes and dust all over the place all over the dishes (that hadn’t been washed) then I went out to play sport for 2 hours and when I got back sharna had cleaned the whole unit- dishes, paint flakes, dust- all of it. She doesn’t live with us, she just did it cause she is awesome.
So when I got home and saw this I said I owed her BIG TIME, and offered her 1 month of whatever she wanted..... above all else she said no more mum jokes.......
NO MORE MUM JOKES!!!!
I work with programmers…. This is killing me….
and Egypt.
YAY for my awesome girlie- I love planning trips and she is all excited too:)
Its about $30 an hour (for 2 people).
Now we know!! Hilary
What does 1 TRILLION dollars look like?
A Senator once said, "A million dollars here, a million dollars there...
pretty soon you're talking BIG Money"!!!
All this talk about "stimulus packages" and "bailouts"...
A billion dollars...
A hundred billion dollars...
Eight hundred billion dollars...
One TRILLION dollars...
So what does that look like? I mean, these various numbers are tossed around
like so many doggie treats, so I thought I'd try to get a sense of what
exactly a Trillion Dollars looks like.
First off....
We'll start with a $100 dollar bill. Currently the largest U.S. denomination
in general circulation. Most everyone has seen them, slightly fewer have
owned them.
Guaranteed to make friends wherever they go!!!
Next..
A packet of one hundred $100 bills is less than 1/2" thick and contains
$10,000. Fits in your pocket easily and is more than enough for week or two
of shamefully decadent fun.
Next........
Believe it or not, this next little pile is $1 million dollars (100 packets
of $10,000). You could stuff that into a grocery bag and walk around with
it undetected.
And then........
While a measly $1 million looked a little unimpressive, $100 million is a
little more respectable. It fits neatly on a standard pallet.
Now for the heavy hitters..........
And here's $1 BILLION dollars. Now we're really getting somewhere.
Next we'll look at ONE TRILLION dollars. This is that number we've been
hearing about so much.
What is a trillion dollars?
Well, it's a million-million.
It's a thousand billion.
It is a "1" followed by 12 zeros.
You ready for this?
It's pretty surprising..
Go ahead....... Scroll down all the way
Ladies and Gentlemen...here is........
1 Trillion Dollars...
Notice those pallets are double stacked.
YOU are the little person in the red shirt standing at the lower left corner.
So the next time you hear someone just "toss around" the phrase a "Trillion Dollars"...
This is what they're talking about.
A private school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers... and then there are educators.
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbour's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says "I've had enough of this," and she goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?" The blonde says "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it."
RABBITS love liquorice but it is very bad for them because they cannot digest sugars.
DALMATIONS are the only breed of dog that gets gout (because they are the only mammals, other than humans, which produce uric acid).
SLUGS have four noses - well actually a pair of gills for breathing and a pair of rhinopores (chemosensory organs) used for smelling.
HONEYBEES have hairs on their eyes to help them collect pollen.
The left leg of a CHICKEN is tenderer than the right one, which it uses most, therefore increasing muscle development.
The sperm of a MOUSE is longer than the sperm of an elephant.
So as a weapons instructor I felt I needed to know what the new laws on carrying weapons around are. Here is a snippet of what I found.
”Prohibited weapons will include butterfly knives, catapults, electric shock or electromagnetic weapons, blow pipes, flick knives, knuckle dusters, pistol crossbows and spray weapons (other than capsicum or pepper sprays) capable of causing injury.”
WHAT???
Police officer: What’s what in you back pocket?
Citizen; Nothing.
Police officer: Is that a Trebuchet?
Citizen: Ummmmm
Police officer: Were you going to siege that castle?
JUST when you thought we were milking the cow for all it's worth, along comes a fresh idea: cow urine as a fizzy drink.
No, it's not a stunt. India's Hindu nationalist movement, the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), says the drink is in the final stages of development.
The Times reports head of the department Om Prakash as saying the drink - called "gau jal", or "cow water" - in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and would be launched "very soon, maybe by the end of this year".
"Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," he told The Times. "Its USP will be that it's going to be very healthy. It won't be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins."
The Times reports the drink is the latest attempt to cleanse India of foreign influence and promote its ideology of Hindutva, or Hindu-ness.
Im sorry... WHAT????/
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'where's the self- help section?' she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf person signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all?'
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 's' in it?
Why are haemorrhoids called 'haemorrhoids' instead of 'assteroids'?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented?
Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?
AN exotic goat in Canada's Calgary Zoo accidentally hanged itself after it became entangled in a rope and then fell off a log.
Home video of the accident on Saturday showed the Turkmenian markhor hanging lifeless from the rope in its enclosure, CTV television reported today.
Later, keepers could be seen trying to resuscitate the animal.
The zoo said that the goat had been playing with a ball on the end of a rope - a toy designed to stimulate the animal.
The accident was the latest in a series of deaths at the zoo in the western province of Alberta.
Last November an elephant calf died of a virus and in May 2008, 41 stingrays died for unknown reasons.
The people renting my house are moving out and I need help to shift lots of stuff in a short time- any help would be muchly appreciated. This weekend and next weekend. Moving from Willetton to Warwick. Some of the stuff is big. Also I want to get rid of most of the stuff so if you want house stuff come and grab it (including fish tanks kitchen appliances, desks, chairs, fridge, ect)
0409033002
HELP!!!!!
